July 31, around 2:00 pm, Carbondale, IL

"Dogs bite, but balloons and slippers are more dangerous." Wise words indeed. I got that from the Carbondale Public Library.

Even wiser words: "Never go to the public library in Carbondale."

They charge $5.00 for internet access. Five dollars! For an hour! That's absurd!

This library ain't hurting for money, either. There are at least five banks of computers. From where I'm sitting, I can see 9 clocks. And there are Ansel Adams prints that one can check out with one's library card.

Hell, I can live off of five dollars for at least two days!

Perhaps I'm being a bit unfair. I haven't given you the whole story. Internet access is five dollars if you don't have a library card. To quote the (quite snarky) Carbondale Public Library Internet Policy, one has "the option of purchasing a Carbondale Public Library Card." Yup, you read right.

In Carbondale you have to pay for a library card.

What if one has a card from a nearby library? Quoth the CPLIP, "Individuals who are registered cardholders at other public libraries will be directed to their home library if they choose not to pay the fee... The Carbondale Public Library staff can direct individuals who do not want to purchase a Carbondale Public Library Card or pay the fee to local commercial establishments which offer internet access."

Mee-yow.

You see why I don't like this library. Also, they had a quote-unquote Pirate Magician performing for the kids. The kids were all dressed as pirates, and having a good time. Most of his act consisted of bad-mouthing pirates, reminding kids that they were "bad people" and "the real bad guys". Why would you do that?

7/30 Motel 6, Carbondale, IL -> 9 hrs 04018.2