Me: It has been too long, blog. I'm sorry. you deserve more of my attention.
But I don't want to post crap. If I fill you with crap, you become crap. I have seen this happen to me. Like with Gouda-type-cheese-food and fake German pumpernickel bread. I was so full of shit that I was coughing farts. Only a Dresden-esque poop saved me. There hadn't been a number two like that since Fat Man.
And you cannot poop, Blog.
But it is more important to me that you live, than that you live well. So I guess what I'm saying is that I love you, Blog, but also, "Fuck you." I can't worry about your self-worth, and also give you the attention you need.
Blog: Bring it on!
Me: Oh snap! I do love you, you know.
Blog: Fuck you, right back atcha.
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